Sacrifices

With only 5 minutes left before I had to be out the door with two small children this morning, I was faced with a choice: Do I throw on some makeup and style my hair so that I actually look presentable in public or do I make a cup of coffee to go? Coffee won.

The sacrifice of my own vanity is one that is not uncommon for me. But as I drove through the snowy roads to get to my destination, I couldn’t help but consider all of the sacrifices that we, mothers, make. They are abundant. Some are obvious, others, not so much. All are necessary and unavoidable.

From the moment of conception, the most evident of sacrifices is our bodies. Our waistlines expand, our bladders seem to shrink, our breasts ache, and the things that we used to salivate over may send us straight to the bathroom in a fit of nausea. For the health and safety of our unborn children, we sacrifice guilty pleasures like sushi & hot tubs and the ability to do things that we used to take for granted like curbing a nasty cough with a shot of Nyquil. We sacrifice wine, people—WINE!

We sacrifice sleep to feed our infants. We sacrifice time with our husbands so we can rock our peaceful babies “just 10 minutes longer”. We sacrifice clean laundry for items that can pass the “sniff test”. We sacrifice some self dignity to wipe another human’s bottom or catch their puke in our bare hands. We sacrifice 5-stars for Friendly’s. We sacrifice couture for anything with elastic.

In the car, we sacrifice the music that we love, that makes us bob our heads and dance in our seats, in exchange for classic nursery rhymes and silly “jams” by Laurie Berkner. In our homes, we sacrifice the serene, styled spaces in order to accommodate the inundation of toys that light up, make noise, and race around. We sacrifice the ability to open a cupboard or drawer without having to finagle some sort of “safety” contraption first. We sacrifice silence.

In some cases, such as mine, mothers sacrifice their careers in order to stay at home with the kids. We sacrifice spending time with our own friends and fill up the social calendar with play dates, library story times, music classes, and swimming lessons. Once we have more than one child, we sacrifice our cute shoes for a pair that is more practical—usually ones with good treads that will allow us to chase after an escaping toddler.

We sacrifice stimulating conversations about politics, world affairs, and current events to swap more conventional ideas on discipline, potty training, and peanut-free recipes. We sacrifice Miatas for minivans. We sacrifice our vacation homes for tuition funds. We sacrifice our own dreams in order for our kids achieve theirs’.

So is motherhood an unending state of martyrdom? In many respects, absolutely. But when we feel our fetuses kick us from within for the first time, when our babies utter a legit belly laugh at a face that we made, when our budding preschooler counts to 20 without missing a number or completes his first difficult puzzle with pride and independence, when our child shares a toy without being prompted, when our kids hug us “just because”, when they mind their manners, make good choices, earn honor roll, graduate college, find true love of their own, and become good parents like us … we know that we wouldn’t change our lives for anything.

Yes, we mothers make sacrifices. They are abundant. Some are obvious, others, not so much. All are necessary and unavoidable. But they are, without a doubt, rewarding.

The makeup and properly-styled hair can wait. Don’t get me wrong, though. To survive this lifestyle, caffeine is a MUST. I will never sacrifice my coffee.