And From Under a Rock, I Emerge...

Ok, so it is official: I am the worst blogger known to man in the “consistency” category. In my defense, however, I must state that when I foolishly began this quest of literary enlightenment, I started my own Avon business, in addition to going back to work full-time and my child achieved about 5-gadjillion-major- mobile- milestones in the interim. This whole “blogging” thing isn’t for those who are trying to balance the world on their shoulders while coaxing a one-year-old out of his kitchen-cupboard-fort as he simultaneously holds the cutlery and Tupperware hostage…

The masses have spoken, though, and I have read the comments posted via Facebook and this blog site-- so (hold the applause, please), I have returned.

Since I last wrote, the following events have taken place in “Laurel Land”:

1.) Caiden turned 1. Holy. Crap. I. Am. The. Mother. Of. A. Toddler. (See addendum #3.)

2.) I went back to work at “The Oak” for 6-weeks while my friend, Tiffany, went on maternity leave. At my house, we like to refer to this time as “The Experiment That Went Horribly Wrong”. I was itching to get out the house, make some extra money, interact with other adults, use my brain for things other than trying to sneak vegetables into meals usually containing hot dogs or mac & cheese. This long-term substitution job was going to be the perfect opportunity for me to figure out where I wanted to go with my career. We were fortunate enough to have my mother come and watch Caid during the days, but while I was away it felt as though the entire foundation of our family structure was eroding away bit-by-bit. The nature of my job was exhausting emotionally and time-consuming. I had always appreciated how my fellow female coworkers were able to dedicate so many hours to the school, the students, the bureaucracy of the system, and then proceed to go home cook a meal, do a load of laundry, and raise their own children. After completing this substitution-stint, my appreciation for these women has extended far past an ordinary realm and morphed into utter awe, admiration, and respect. “The Experiment That Went Horribly Wrong” was a difficult lesson to learn. And at its’ conclusion, it taught me that, although I love making my “own” money and contributing to the general income of our household, I much prefer staying at home with Caiden. Life is far too short, and, quite frankly, that other job just doesn’t pay enough in the grand scheme of things.

3.) My child has relatively mastered the art of:

ü Using gibberish to tell long-winded tales

ü Blowing extremely wet raspberries (usually in one’s face) and making snorting noises. Both of these acts are usually accompanied by fits of little boy laughter and maternal eye-rolling.

ü Finding bodies of water—big and small. Yes, I have found him trying to drink water from the dog bowl as well as using the toilet like a water table. A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL PARENTS: No amount of child-proofing is fail-safe. Do your best, let your kid explore, and always have a canister of sanitizing wipes within an arm’s reach.

ü Walking. Contrary to what it looks like, my son hasn’t been drinking all day. He’s just getting used to the new legs. He’s definitely still wobbly, yet he manages to get places pretty darn quickly.

ü Climbing the stairs--one-way, of course. Being able to descend on the stairs would be far too useful of a skill at this point in time. Not when you can draw much more attention to yourself by racing up the stairs and then scream when you’re stuck at the top.

4.) With regard to wedding plans, we recently booked our honeymoon to St. Lucia. It will be kid-free and I feel like a bad mother at times because I am sooooooooooooooo looking forward to it. Then I think of blue water and free drinks and quickly get over it.

So there you have it, folks: An update on my thrilling life. Are you now experiencing regret for telling me to write new posts?