There are plenty of reasons why having a child out of wedlock is not encouraged. There is the religious component. There is the money factor. There is also the not so obvious reason that it is nearly impossible to get anything done with wedding preparations and/or post-production thank you note writing with a little one underfoot. One good thing about having a child, however, is that when you are a parent, you know how much things can change in a year’s time as well as how fast that time flies by.
Dan and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary. Although it usually feels like we lead a very mundane existence in the grand scheme of things, it is already amazing to see how much has changed over the course of one year. A weeklong, childfree honeymoon getaway to St. Lucia last January gave us time to just be adults, husband and wife, and not “Caiden’s Parents”. We were able to talk about grownup stuff, sleep in, and relax on the beach without having to worry about someone running off into the sea or eating sand by the shovelful. We were able to sit in silence watching the sunset and eat a full, hot meal without any interruptions or cutting up someone else’s food into itty-bitty pieces. It was wonderful and helped to rekindle a part of our relationship that is sometimes so easily put on the backburner when, normally, our number one priority is keeping our child happy, healthy, and safe. As a result of that getaway, we also added a new member to our family… Over the course of the past year, our home has weathered the wrath of crazy blizzards, debris castoff by tornadoes, and, most recently, serious rainfall courtesy of a hurricane turned tropical storm. It has also withstood the wrath of what an active 2-year-old can procure. Since last August, we’ve added a patio, ripped out some hedges, redecorated two bedrooms, paid off a car, and shared the company of each other as family laughing, playing, and dreaming a whole lot in between. Reflecting upon the past 365 days, I suppose that “change” doesn’t necessarily have to be in your face or blatantly life-altering all the time. Like with your own child, it takes looking back at pictures and remembering all the things that you have done over the course of a certain period of time to realize the growth that has really taken place right before your very eyes.
Seeing that Dan and I are not ones to be slaves to tradition, our first anniversary was spent as a couple, but putting our own spin on things. We lined up a babysitter and went out to a lovely dinner. When we came home, however, most people would assume that we shared a slice of stale wedding cake extracted from the depths of our freezer. Not so much. We knew a year ago that that tradition was not for us. We like cake too much. Knowing this, I carried out a plan that was devised long ago by ordering a new cake from the bakery that made our wedding cake—a miniature version of our “nuptial num-nums” to partake in. We sliced the cake using our engraved knife and server set and shared the delish dessert over chilled milk served in our wedding flutes because, let’s face it, what other occasion will these things be used? (I will say that, originally, those flutes were to be filled--numerous times at that--with a really good champagne that was given to us on our wedding day. Unfortunately, our little “St. Lucian souvenir” made us hold off on that.)
After dessert, I gave Dan his gift. Since the first year anniversary is considered the “Paper Anniversary”, I kept it simple. He got a card. Within the card, however, I wrote him new wedding vows. Once again, the concept of change and growth played a big role in all of this. Although the words I spoke to him a year ago still remain strong and true, events that have occurred over the course of these past 12-months only made me want to promise him more and acknowledge everything that I may take for granted on a daily basis. It was during this writing exercise and time of yearly reflection that I realized many things will remain static and solid over the course of our marriage, but metamorphosis is certainly inevitable. One thing that shall always remain constant, however, is how much I love and appreciate this wonderful man in my life. Knowing that this change is always on the horizon, I cannot wait to see how fast this next year will fly by and what it will bring to our ever-growing family. It is a blessing to experience these everyday acts of “mundane miracles” and creation of memories with my best friend as we continue along this path of life we vowed to share a year ago.
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